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It
was so easy long ago
To be so sure of what I'd do
But now I know, what now I know
It's different since I met you.
The
blue sky deepens, shot with gold
The sunsets that we seem to share
Not placid like the days of old
With you not there!
Uncertain
footsteps where I felt
Once on a day the world was mine
In honesty at times I've knelt
To know just where to draw the
line.
It
is not true the sober way
Brings peace of mind like cooling
showers
I skim the hills at break of day
A new delight this love of ours.
I
lost your love, how could it be
My questioning does not recall
Our love, so blythe and all so free
Contains the beauty of it all.
My
cat jumps to my lap to stare
Unblinking yet with honest purr
Unknowing you no longer care
I sob my teardrops in his fur.
Cram
the heartache out of sight
I see him heading down this way
Raise the shades that cast out night
Have a smile as bright as day.
Blind
his perception with a smile
Make a curtsey bending low
Be natural with a woman's guile
It's safe to say, he'll never know.
My
clumsy hands cannot unlock
the door of your heart's need
Now when the shadows come
My faltering words can only blindly
pour
Unsatisfying solace, then fall
dumb.
To
know your hurt, then dimly to define
Your need of me, when words are only
vain
But still your trembling lips
seek calm from mine
My love holds up its chalice
for your pain
First
Date
When
midnight struck, I heard you climb the
stair
You...who had left so gaily...hours
before
Your filmy evening gown just swept the
floor
Your eyes were stars...and fragrant was
your hair.
I've
lain awake, my daughter, just for you
So I could hear you gaily call
"Goodnight."
And watch until your date was out of
sight...
And hear you close the door as you came
through.
Your
dragging footsteps slowly pass my
door.
I call, "Had fun?" and you just answered
"yes"
Oh Darling, were the flowers wrong, the
dress?
That you can't talk about it
anymore?
Perhaps
tomorrow you can tell me why
You locked your door tonight... and why
you cried.
My heart is aching too, down deep
inside...
To wonder ... is a little bit ... to
die.
You
love such simple things...
the drifting ash
from forest fires burning, you can see
the beauty in the dead stump or a tree
The clean black lines that neither
mar nor clash.
You
love a forest trail ... a dusty way
You show me cobwebs jeweled with the
dew
and Life becomes more beautiful
through you
Intrinsic values of the things you
say.
Blindness
Breath
of a morn I cannot see
Blast of a night that will not go
Over and over they come to me
Each of these things I used to
know.
These
have I loved ... the dawn's first
light
The blush on the cheek of the Eastern
sky
Now there is nothing but blackened
night
with only a mind to remember
by.
Feel
the wind's kiss, you can never find
the lift of the trees in their zephyr's
tune
Hold it and clutch it ... but do not
reach
For the light in the sky ... there is no
moon.
These
have I loved ... and tightly grasped
The fine white spray ... and the ocean's
roar
T'was a friendly sound ... now I sit
alone
By the mocking waves that laugh no
more.
Was
the sunset crimson or gold or blue?
Do the stars look silver ... or only
white?
Have the leaves turned green ... I wish I
knew
Before I enter this deepening
night.
Shades
of a dusk that is darkly mauve
Turning into a deeper black ...
And I cry in the night for the things I
loved
The things I can never again ... call
back.
Infinity
If
sounds are never lost ... but circle
on
in endless rhythm ... round and round in
space
and nothing that is said is ever gone
but only waiting for a way to trace
each spoken word ... then someday I may
sift
from myriad tones ... about ... below ...
above
your voice ... and cherish pricelessly the
gift
that gives me once again ... your words of
love!
Rest
Home
Clean
linoleum ... polished floors ...
close-shut windows ... open doors
Air that's warm ... no breezes blowing
...
Social Hall ...T.V. going
You're in a chair!
Your white hair falling down through space
...
a vacant smile upon your face ...
and you not knowing ...
that I care!
Scraping
of rubber shoes in halls
Creaking of trays and plaintive calls
the food looks good ... it smells a
treat!
So many people couldn't eat ...
They were not hungry, so they said ...
Dismayed ... the charge nurse shook her
head ...
Perhaps she knew ... that all of these
hungered for their memories!
To
My Husband
It
is dusk and shadows deepen
and the rain keeps softly falling
And each droplet makes the puddles shift
and foam
While the new-washed frogs are
croaking
and some bird is softly calling
And it's just the time my Darling
that you would be coming home.
It
seems like I can hear you
hear your footsteps as you're walking
From your pickup down the path
the door will creak as you open it
and taking off your coat I hear you
talking...
and I almost see you standing there
and hear the way you speak.
"Something
sure smells good," you're saying ...
and how many times you've said it
You were never one to bring home frowns
and gloom
The swish of rain came with you ...
on your black coat as you shed it
And you're here with me and smiling in
this room.
Yes,
the dusk and shadows deepen
and the wind is softly throbbing
as it gusts its way through bushes and
through trees...
and my heart longs for your coming ...
while I hear my voice a-sobbing
For now I want you back again ...
just to be a part of these.
Such
an old gate to stand alone
With the vines around...
With the vines around
While the dusk is falling
And one dark stone
Lies on the ground...
The leafy ground
I
thought
of the time I had leaned thereon
when the gate was new...
so very new
before the Wheel of Years rolled on
I was with you
Oh, precious you!
Such
an old gate to stand alone
I hear it sigh...
A gusty sigh
And now I know what the gate has known
the years go by...
So fast go by
And
you are gone, who was my own
and the gate and I must stand alone
as the days go by...
and the years go by
Old
Road
Lost
is the road that stumbled here
beneath its load of brush and tree
where the pine cones tumbled, brown and
sere...
abandoned ways hold mystery!
Where
did it go? when proudly carved
from fresh, clay earth...it strongly
led
up from a hollow...turned a hill
dim are the tracks that show
ahead.
Once
it carried countless feet
that built a future that is past...
Lost is the road...but strangely sweet
the tracks of time that hold us fast.
To
A Greater God
Dear
Lord, too many people kneel tonight
To worship You because they think you're
white!
That You approve of churches where they
pray
where some may enter...some are turned
away.
They feel that You are very grateful
too
at mealtime when they offer thanks to
You
for filling all their needs, for answered
prayer,
for tables filled with food they seldom
share.
But
Lord, a greater You must somewhere
stand
who holds the galaxies within Your
hand
Who sees our starving millions... hears
the cries
of earth's defrauded children...anguished
eyes
of under-privileged mothers giving
birth
to babies who "inherit not the
earth".
Tonight
I found upon a sun-baked land
a dying blackbird shot by careless
hand.
I knelt beside it ... Great God hear my
call
to You...who grieved to see the sparrow
fall.
Comparison
Green
valleys lush with grass
Minted with dew
That was the way she chose
In loving you.
Heavy with apple boughs
Where the scent hung low
"I love him so much" she said.
"He must not go!
High
on a clean cut mountain
'Neath a windy sky,
My love for you ... a star,
flung... far... and high,
Loving so much ... my darling
I said goodbye.
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The
dawn of laughter waking up
I breathe so deep of morning air
Ecstasy can fill my cup
Make glad hours we might share.
Today
is minted and quite new
And still some one may come along
Perhaps today it will be you
Dear subject of this morning's song.
I
have some lovely pictures in my mind
Of places I have been and things I
knew
In bygone days that I have left behind
That I have shared awhile, and all with
you.
Here
is a path, and there a redwood tree
Lovely in the moonlight's magic glow
The times we walked and where you shared
with me
So many lovely moments long
ago.
And
now that I'm alone at end of day
I find I'm back in these familiar
things
Feeling your hand clasp, and the words you
say
That lift my spirits, gives my soul its
wings!
Charmian
Blattner
1920-2010
I
lay me down to sleep, and close my
eyes
And the darkness deepens, can it be?
That somewhere in the East the sun will
rise
And morning's sureness will return to
me.
No
song is sung at midnight, none to hear
The last bell pause and ring its' clear
refrain
While hopefully I will be dreaming,
Dear,
That it's your hand upon my
counterpane!
The
Teacher
How
fortunate to hold within your grasp
the threads of Wisdom ... knowing that
your touch
can mould designs of learning, that you
clasp
the heart of Knowledge that may tell so
much.
To
see the eager eyes of interest shine,
to watch a hand raise high the empty
cup...
to know it is your weaving, your
design,
your fount of knowledge that will fill it
up.
Oh
better this... than Monarchs ruling
lands,
to thrill some student into keener
sight...
far-reaching and outstripping your
demands
who lit the spark, to guide him in the
night.
Love
So
this is it
this pain, this grief
this anger like a quivering leaf,
a glimpse of distant, silvery seas,
the hint of bloom on winter
trees.
A
shred of laughter
more of tears,
a vision of the broken years...
this sacrifice of peace of mind,
of sudden quarrels, words
unkind.
Of
nights of wakefulness,
of stars...
a heart that's full of unhealed scars,
a whispered word, a soul laid bare
so this is it ...this love we share.
New
Neighbor
She's
polished her house...
she's a stranger in town,
But her windows shine bright,
the crisp curtains hang down.
And should you look through them,
I know you would see
A table all set...
with hot cookies and tea!
It's
easy to say,
as we by-pass her door,
That nobody really
"pays calls" anymore.
But someone, please come ...
never mind if you're bold!
'Lest her cookies and tea
and bright spirit grow cold.
Woman
Her
hand no longer spins the carded wool
Her feet no longer brace the buckboard
floor
She holds a subtler weapon or a tool
That people did not need or use
before.
The
fingers that rolled bullets now are
stilled
Her daughter marches to a stronger
pace
But woman's need must be by woman
filled
When no one yet has moved to take her
place.
For
devastation, earthquakes, plague or
man
May rock the planet with its savage
cries,
Then woman, with far-reaching greater
plan
Still stoops to wipe the tears from
children's eyes.
September
So
suddenly the seasons change
you do not see
The first dry leaf fall from the maple
tree
Or feel the first cold thrust of Winter's
chill
'Till grass blades quiver on a frosty
hill
And
all of Summer shrivels down to Fall
And children that were little have grown
tall.
Cinderella
My
slipper shattered on the steps
My rags replaced the silver gown
The coach, bedecked with royal crests
Was now a pumpkin in the town.
Your
love so splendid at the start
Becomes a mockery complete
The revelation burns my heart
The ashes sting beneath by feet.
To
An Old House
You
poor old tired, creaking house
Standing, sagging, all alone
Your feet are tangled in the weeds,
Your sightless windows overgrown.
Your rotting ledges fall apart
And vines are tearing out your
heart.
The
tumble weed mocks in its dance
Upon your sunken steps, and sees
the briars pulling all the blooms
and blossoms from the apple trees.
The silence makes a fearful din,
for ghostly symphonies within.
The
Father
"She
is gone," they said. I can hear it yet
and the smell of ether in long, dim
halls,
the cold, blank pain of hospital
walls,
the lump in my throat when I moved my
head...
"The baby lived," so gently said,
"It is a boy...but the mother's
dead!"
She
was like a flower, a fragile one,
head held proudly in the sun!
Oh
God, she's gone. I walk the lane,
deep in my heart that racking pain.
Just keep moving, I will not know
the wind or rain. I loved her so.
I walked and paced...and the wind went
by.
And
then sometime about half-past two
I happened to think, my son, of
you!
Beside
your crib, upon my knees,
soft, warm bundle, faintly stir.
Dear Lord, let him have eyes like her.
She was so dear, her hands so slim
and white ... her eyes that Irish
blue.
My son, oh how she wanted you
to cuddle you close to her breast,
those wooly knitted things she made.
She went so gallant ... unafraid.
Yes, she went out and left this spark
I'm cradling here within the
dark.
My
son! You cannot understand,
the way is lonely. Oh, my wife,
I'll miss you, need you, all my
life!
I
stretch
my arms from where I stand,
they fall to touch a baby's hand.
He
loved to climb up mountains when a boy
And scan the heights, a sky of wonder
view.
Then climbing down again he always
knew,
That he had left awhile white clouds of
joy.
He
lived his life so well -- he walked it
tall.
His love of family, friends, his special
way
Of spreading joy and laughter every
day,
So seldom thinking of himself at
all.
And
then one day he heard the special bars
Of God's own music sounding from
above.
Once more he climbed the heights,
looked down with love on those he'd
left,
before he reached the stars.
There
will be times of Laughter
when the sun like rays of golden
cobwebs
lightly spun will fill our days.
But in the silence of that love-filled
dawn
look down to see the daylight nearly
gone
in darkened ways.
Such
is my life ... the Laughter and the
Tears
that make the warp of living through the
years
a brave design.
And I may sob with Joy ...
or laugh through Pain
with up-cupped hands to catch
Life's borrowed rain
that falls in mine.
My
Husband
When
I first met you...it was night
we stopped...and to my swift surprise
Your face in darkness...but a light
Shone from your eyes.
Mischievous, laughing, living eyes
That seemed to take me by
surprise.
So
through the years...so many things
come swiftly and relentlessly.
The years went by...the Falls...the
Springs
Your eyes laughed down at me.
And now...at the end of a lonely day
Heaven is not too far away.
Some
time I know...Life's cord will break,
when Life and Time are past...
Then through the mist...I can't
mistake
Your own dear eyes...at last!
And find once more...the way we
cared...
Your loving eyes...and all we shared.
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