To The Ladies
To
my friends who sent good wishes, since my poem,
Ladies Be Aware,
There is more, if you'll permit me, which, with you
I'd like to share.
My visit to the Hospital, was not all that I had
hoped,
So from that morning that I went, I like to tell
you how I've coped.
Tuesday
morning, off I went, my appointment there to
keep,
No long wait, no time to think, barely time to take
a seat.
Preparing myself for what had to come, I knew it
wasn't nice,
To have your 'bits' squashed quite flat in an
'electronic vice.'
That
over, they then decided, not liking what they
saw,
Further tests they would do, to try to find out
more.
An ultrasonic scan they did, and showed me with
great care.
So I could see upon that screen, the problem that
was there.
More
concerned they became, and more tests they would
do,
Take some samples; send away, 10days before they
knew.
Knew for sure what the lump was, 10 days of Hell
for me,
10 days of worrying, not just on my own, but also
my family.
They
sent me to the Support Nurse, who explained in
great detail,
What was sure to happen soon. I know I went quite
pale.
Although it was not certain, that the lump was the
big 'C'
The Doc's experience said a lot, and was as sure as
he could be.
I
kept a smile upon my face, bade farewell, then
drove home,
How I ever managed to get there, I will never
know.
That afternoon passed on by, completely in a
blur,
I can't remember during that time what really did
occur.
My
emotions were running wild; my thoughts had just
gone mad,
Sheer panic had set into my head, thoughts of all
things bad.
I'm a single Mum with children, how will they cope
if I am ill?
How will my obligations as a mum, to them now
fulfil.
Another
emotion then struck me, I felt dirty, and
unclean,
My body has been invaded by something alien and
still unseen,
I was feeling like a leper, I should have a bell to
ring,
to warn each and everyone around, of this horrid
evil thing.
The
next thing I felt was pure anger, I just really
couldn't see,
After all in life I've gone through, why this? Why
now? WHY ME???
The days went on and through the night, sleep
seemed so far away,
Tossing, turning, and nightmare dreams, all came
into play.
It
was then that I realised, that for me to see this
through,
I had to talk to others, to other people who really
knew.
I couldn't keep it bottled up, and secrete it all
inside,
I needed to let it all out again, not a thing I
dared to hide.
My
friends are so supportive, a great shoulder they
are to me,
And with talking to so many, they have made me
clearly see.
Positive thoughts I need to have, I have to push
worry away,
Not to think upon that 'dark-side', not once, not
any day.
The
shock has now subsided, and I accept the
reality,
I have this thing that I don't want, growing inside
of me.
In the Doctors I'll place my trust, to their hands
I'll place my care,
I'll not fret about what 'might' be, and just deal
with what is 'there'.
It
has really made me realise, that I am definitely
not alone.
So many others have had the same, such strength
they have shown.
I'll stay positive through this ordeal, that into
my life was cast,
When it's all over and done with, then I can put it
in my past.
Whatever
may lie in front of me, all the hills I'll need to
climb,
I know that I can cope with it, even though it may
take time.
I know that whatever happens, I know it'll turn out
all right,
What I am most thankful for, thank God, I checked
myself that night.
Ladies
Be Aware
