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A
GHOST IN THE NIGHT
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I heard you in a dream last night.
You spoke to me so clearly.
Your voice seemed friendly, soft and sweet.
It was grand to feel you near me.
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But
when I wake, of course, you're gone.
And I know you won't be back.
So far away and unreachable,
you're the dearest thing I lack.
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I
wish you didn't hate me so.
I'll always yearn for you.
Guess we must have crossed in another life,
but I'm the only one who knew.
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The
first time that I saw you,
you cocked your head and smiled.
But that was many, many years ago,
and beyond far too many miles.
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We
had the same eyes, green and old,
though our youth belied the years.
Age-old thoughts we must have shared,
and many, many tears.
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My
heart was yours from that very day.
You held it in your hand.
And I held yours for just a while
in our Never, Never Land.
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But
we were not to be, you and I.
You belonged to someone else.
So we laughed and loved and said goodbye.
I put my heart back on the shelf.
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Twenty
years went by, some slow, some fast,
and there you were again.
Not in the flesh but in my dream,
sitting quietly, at the foot of my
bed.
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"Get
up," you said, "and come with me.
You can't let go just yet.
I'll wait for you, but not too long;
we must make the most of what's
left."
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It
seemed so real. Your coat was red,
your voice was clear and strong.
Your words sang softly within my head.
Maybe all hope was not yet gone.
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So
I rose, somehow, I found the strength
to get up one more time.
Though when I did, you soon were gone.
Am I finally losing my mind?
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"To
the sea," I said, "to my wishing spot.
That's where I need to go.
To ask my sun god what to do
for an aching heart. He'll know."
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"Go
find him," I heard, though not in words.
The waves brought the message to me.
And with each splash, the dark and cold
gave a hint of what still might be.
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"Good
God," I thought, "what might I find?
Will he hate me or even remember?
I must take the chance, whatever the cost,
I'll write to him in December."
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And
so I did, and before too long,
a letter from you I got.
But no words of love or "welcome back."
None of that mushy rot.
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Soon
the time came when my wish came true.
I saw you in the flesh.
Your dark hair now no longer brown,
but those green eyes, still sweet and
fresh.
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My
heart for so long had been still and weak.
For years it had not sung a song.
Maybe now, at last, it might come back to life.
My fears of gloom could be wrong.
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But
I'm too late, I see. It's hard to swallow.
The feelings you had once are gone.
Though I still worship you, you've gotten over
me.
You regained your life and went on.
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My
foolish heart played a trick on me,
one last prank before it dies.
"Way to go, old sport, at least I see
by no earthly rules are you tied."
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So
back in your box, my naive hopes.
It was only a dream brought me here.
A ghost in the night spoke my name, you see,
and for a minute I saw through my
tears.
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Maybe
next time around, we'll get it right.
Til then I'll go back to sleep.
But an amputee still feels his legs,
and you'll always be here with me.
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--
"Small Person" aka Nan Nichols
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